Epitaph of him,Eulogy through my eyes

This is the way of the tomorrow's end.how proud I am to have been their with you till the end. I wish i could say more thing but it just can't seem to process, a thought in my mind tells me i know all your likes, dislikes,your quirks,your moves, the way you laugh the way you smile, you say you never cry, you never show your anger just release it from another side. Is someone less of a man if they show emotions is being a man that important?To withhold to conserve, its all i really knew of him, always closed always inside his own mind,always always convoluted but always homogeneous.I have two ears, i have four minds, i have a heart, all we need...is for your story to be told.

Burn the Heart

Why must my heart and my eyes decieve my mind
to realize the hurt and pain twist into the sane
with in the secrets theirs no one to blame
to let the flame and beat the frame to the point in the authority
of which you call a man.
Is this what you want its this how its suppose to be
to cry and bleed feel the need to see
find the truth and blees it be wha is this world
with in that i seek
your holding me tightly
afraid to let go but their is always one thing i want you to know
this is the end.

Overcoming the Voices Inside

I've seen it many times death in every line coursing through every vein he whispers and calls out my name my blood runs cold my eyes blood shot a dream that breaks and shatters like a ocean's force against a small rock. I look into those eyes and all i see is mine i look into that face and it makes me wanna cry.that one person that beats and claws on the inside is staring and watching me through a murderous pair of eyes. my instinct says run but my thought keep me frozen in time a raise me hand and lift my head.SAY HELLO TO YOUR FATE ITS ALMOST TIME BACK FROM WENCE YOU CAME INSIDE MY MIND YOUR DESTRUCTION SHALL NEVER COME BECAUSE ITS ALL MY TIME...


overcoming the voices inside

Cry out the past

From past and time and now again, to feel so kept from the things you love and hold dear. To wake up and realize that what you felt and how you feel has gotten stronger. To remember the past is to remember all the pain the suffering turning to a bottle of clonidine to sleep forever never to wake and when you don't you try to cut open a vain trying to drift into the seam.This is insane to feel so alone to be left out just because the way you think is not what they want!To be ripped apart from the inside of your heart for your mother your mother the woman who gave you life to say your not her son she rather you dead she'd rather you gone do you call that a mom. to have a dad who doesnt look at you just looks past, in his eyes his only son dies and the moon sets then and at that night he tries to end it again.

Wake of lost love

I watch you looking at me from afar. i just flirt alittle just so show you that I'm into you but you turn around because youR friends got some kind of issue. You wont look at me when there around. I say hi but not a sound are you that afriad even thought I would be too but I feel were meant to be just me in you. Always with the staring why must we wait if the hate fOr being you forget them and don't blame me for it thats. Ive been shattered many times by the same thing you doin me making me crazy cause when you with yo friends you be abusing me. I'm tired of this wake it’s time to face my fate from death until the end my life will start over again.

REAL FRIENDS PLEASE

So clean its serene blazin threw the seam.looking like the queen she’ll never be. her life so hard but she keep her head up instead of droppin it down to let adude nut up.she grew up. thanking god that she not that prostitute on the corner knowin her since the age of 2.and then at 17 when they went on a double date with they boo. she was over there talking bout how miss you stayed at cho house and all she left you was a ply of paper tissue. Good friends will last you to the endand be witchu. Bad ones will stick around until you make then they go stick you. The problem is finding themout before they getchu and tellin them to get the steppin before the talkin bout missin you isawbitch who get the fuck you aint no real friend you just settin around waitin for me to getta buck.

Gay..Born or Choice

Let Me ask you something. Being gay is it a choice or are people born that gay.If you ask a gay person they'll either say they dont know how or why there gay or they were born that way, and it's just the way we feel.If you ask a striaght person what they think they'll say we chose to deny god's will or were mentally ill or bad parenting.Well me I'm gay and I think that when people ar eborn they're not gay or striaght. I believe that people's minds already know wht they want like how men are attracted to a women scent or those feromons and woman are attracted to mens smells .which is why when people ask me why im gay i say ask my mind its the thing that sends singnals threw my body that makes me hot when i see a very hot guy.Which this makes me think more the miond is a very complex subject to write about and how does the mind really work and how it makes us feel . many people think god put us on this world and made us who we are then lets yopu think on your own or so called free will. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND FEEL ABOUT THIS TOPIC.

A friend of mine died,wrote after funeral

hopelessly left lost and gone. felt alone with all this sadness in hearts. all but I show sad. cause I who never shows grief knows that death isn't a bad thing. death is a part of life but to the living it brings apall but to those without it brings peace and tranquility and an everlasting dream where you never fall. watching loved ones from the otherside you'll be that strong embrace to get them threw hard times. hopelessly left lost and gone but won't feel alone they'll all see you again when the end begins and begins again when we will all ascend.

Dreamwatcher's prophecy:

Missing what use to be
A scream that wells up deep inside me my heart aches because theirs no one to stop me so come and deny me all who oppose but you better watch how my moves i hit chu in the nose your blood gushes dripes and drain the taste like fire clawing on a lions mane coming to a lair dame riping at the smallest frame crying to move on again. Let the blades rip from the chest of two dragons in pain trapped at opposite ends. destined to fight and one must die to end the world singing its malevolence and damaged cries threw dark and twist red eyes.the sky and the earth and at the darkest below call out his name and praise his fortune told. this is the wake the omega the sound and ultra psi ki dark penetrating mix of rift that puts us all in the ground. When the truth is revealed that of the 666 its not what you think so believe in this. the dark is awake and the dragons come again the twist in the plot is that it all starts over again.

It's an idea for a book

Diary of the Mad 4:Ventings of a Cutter

I've done it again. I have been punished again. To be left with only 2 percent of a power ment to destroy. I was blessed in her name but yet punished for her teachings. This power that i have why was it given to me. Its dark and consumes me, has caused me so much pain, voices always screaming. I've been taught that my cutting doesnt help but what do humans know do they know how it feels to feel, a pain deep inside that kills, cutting in relieves my thought of my sin to end the things that will make the flames begin. Looking into the dark all i see is me staring and waiting to be unleashed a beast prototype looking out at the moon shifting and rifting out into the cool. The air whistle and howles with the mad and shares it's pain because it too has caused enough in it's past.

Dairy of the Mad 3:Breaking Vision

Confusion is when you are stuck in place. Where you can't fathom an answer. I am in a state of immortals confusion. Stuck inbetween what I feel and what I feel. A part of me wants the love and passion of those I'm attracted while another wants a companion that we so do truly love till our heart contents and radiates and burst like blimps but theirs not attraction not even a sexual glance. Why must I be torn and entwined my death be my aid and help me be blind help me lose touch help me lose my mind slip into the darkness never to again arise to see the day of light so swift and yet is bright lights that damn my sight to choose to make me happy or be what others want so they can see me again in their eyes.

Diary of the mad 2:Disapperance and Secrets

I looked at his picture on this night and thought to the past at all the supposed good times. it made me cry to think I made myself weak. a shame really for someone like me with my power I can control almost anything and anyone who's brain isn't gone. he hurt me he really did I thought it was impossible for someone like me a monster with no heart for mankind. how? why? .................his destruction shall ease my pain and show the end. To confide in someone a secret that you hold and for them to hate and tell the world brings you to a fold. You rant and rave and run all about and cry and pray your secret doesnt go to far. As you watch and see it spread across the world you finally release.....he has disappeared from your life.

DIARY OF THE MAD

Diary of the Mad Category: its a series i made people have told me it'd be a good book.
My life is like so messed up parents always on my back. ive been alone for 2 weeks. people getting on my nerves 24-7 always wanting something i feel like my brain is about to crake and know a days cutting myself just isnt cutting it lol.
two people in my life are the only people trying to help they are the ones who have always been there for me and some of you think its you but its probably not.
Psychitrist are no help to me and now for some reason i have no controll over something im not suppose to talk about. the voices are starting to get louder and my brother is the only one that makes them stop.
cant you hear it the ghost are screaming there coming for me and theres nothing left for me to do but wait.sshhhhhh
hiding in the dark i see a light ill come to you with death insight i am something that can only be seen by those who wake in misery. nooo you cant be shielded by light but this one is strong we cant fight we’ll leave you here for now but we’ll come back your soul is ours and that darkness is dead.